Hal is a good dog.
I don’t have a picture for this, so here’s a picture of Hal! He’s a good dog.

“Hey, I’d like to write for Kittysneezes!”

Is this you?  If so, then that is AWESOME!  A+ on your hastily arrived-at desire!  Contact me via the Contact Page, and I’ll give you more details and get you set up with an account!  We pretty much take anything!  Essays, Reviews, Interviews, Fiction, Non-Fiction, Humor, Comics, Recipes, Journalism, WHATEVER!  In fact, aside from the usual (we don’t like being sued for libel or plagiarism or anything like that — well, we don’t like being sued at all, really), we only have one real rule:

1.  If it’s a review, it should be positive.  Be critical, sure, but be constructive, and the general takeaway from the article should be “I think that it would be worthwhile for you to spend a small slice of your limited time on this here lump of dirt on this particular item!”

That’s pretty much it.  There might be other stuff, like, “interviews should have the “Part the First” questions in there too, but that’s pretty minor compared with that one.  (And the not-getting-us-sued thing.) 

This, however, might be you too:

“Hey, I’d like to write for Kittysneezes, but I have no idea what to write!”

If that’s you, that’s a-OK too!  As it turns out, that is an easily overcome-able obstacle!  For instance, if you know what genre you’d like to write in, especially if it’s reviews or interviews, Kittysneezes gets a fair amount of promotional material and interview opportunities!  In fact, I’ve set up a google group mailing list of all the stuff I get!  You can get it delivered to you as a daily digest, or with each individual email. You’ll probably find something there that strikes your fancy!

If you don’t have any interest in those, but still don’t know what to write, Kittysneezes has a fair number of recurring articles:

Swears Dripping”:  An open writing prompt for fiction, or well, anything — as long as it contains the line “Swears dripping from his mouth like”.  That’s all it needs!  If that line strikes your fancy, take a whack at it!

Don’t Worry About The Government”: Pieces about laws people like, or interviews with friendly civil servants.

Reviewing Books By Their Covers”: Book reviews of books, where you’ve not read the actual book, but are only going by the cover and whatever story you think the book’s cover is about.  Be sure to include the cover art of the edition you’re “reviewing”!  Bonus — if and when you read the actual book, you can do a normal review of that one too!

Weird and Wild Old Book Reviews”: Book reviews of strange ephemera.  Not every book is intended to stick around forever.  Not every book SHOULD stick around forever.  And some of them are just kind of odd.  This doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be appreciated.

Stupid Ideas I Haven’t Done”: These are, uh, basically what it says on the tin.  They’re stupid ideas.  They haven’t been done.

And, of course, too, there’s lots of other options — perhaps you want to do a “Project” like the Sparks, Residents or Legendary Pink Dots projects.  That’s cool, too!

“So, what can I get for writing for Kittysneezes?”

You can get publicity!  You also own all your own stuff for KS!  You get published by a online magazine, and you can put those clippings in your portfolio!

In other words, a big fat goose egg.

But hey, why not, right?  Sign up today!

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