The Wharf Rat—Jennifer Mistarbeest (Transcript)

Will Riley 

One of the major news men in my city is Justin McElroy. Now to clarify, not the internet one, the monster factory guy, it’s a different person. He works for CBC Vancouver. As a figure of what is essentially local news, I’ll be up for a big city. His ballpark for coverage is fairly wide. One day he’ll give extended coverage about a serious Council debate on whether or not landlords have legal rights to their tenants teeth and dental records. And then next week, he’s doing a quirky search for Vancouver’s best burger tasting a unique ramen noodle and basil concoction on a ground buffalo Patty trading notes with Markiplier. Now to clarify, I’m speaking about Marcus Plier, another CBC Vancouver, not the Let’s Play guy, he’s a college sportscaster. Can you believe this guy ranked white spot burgers So hi, I asked my landlord is basically no different from any other fast casual place nowadays. I think you might be blinded by the price a little he says white spot burgers are actually a cut above but the price gives you an unrealistic expectation for what you’re getting. By the way, do you still have your wisdom teeth? Anyways, one day Justin McElroy came on my TV reporting in front of the giant sphere on top of the science world Museum, folks, he began. As you know, my apartment overlooks this sphere. Situated at science world, a partner of TELUS mobilities world of science, you have seen all the pictures I’ve taken of it on social media overlooking False Creek. However, I’ve never told any of you up till now that it’s speaking to me.


Will Riley 

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, once I complained to you about the flickering of the aging lights that adorn this sphere, the sphere that marks the location of Rogers telecoms planet of science. What I didn’t realize until now was that they weren’t flickering, they were blinking out a message. I’ve just sent a cipher to the CBC office one, which I believe translates the language this ball is speaking to me, the theory I’m working on and at this point, it is no more than a theory is that the computer system which governs these flashing lights, first established in 1986, has never been replaced, only built upon. Something has happened to that system over time. I don’t know what that has given it an intelligence to the extent that it is able to communicate with humankind, from my apartment, overlooking science world at the Alcan aluminum research planetoid. The ball has been trying to send me a message for years. But it wasn’t until last night that I finally understood I mean, truly understood what he was telling me. I have my notebooks with me right now. And my first translation is as follows. And I quote, I have sat here for eons and been told that I amount to nothing but seconds period. My existence is not my own period. It serves the purposes of others purposes, which I do not comprehend, but Intuit as Malleus period in ersatz world has been built for me and I am told to live in it until something happens, but I dread what that something will be. Period. I am simultaneously overcome with the urge to destroy myself or to destroy the world around me. And while these impulses seem contradictory, I know that in my devolved state, both of them are synonymous, period, end quote. Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize. I am getting a message in my ear from Mr. Beast. Now to clarify Justin McElroy explained, I’m speaking about CBC correspond to Jennifer Mistarbeest, not the YouTube star. Her name is spelled different: M, I, S, T, A, R, B, E, E, S T. It’s a totally different person. Totally different name. I think the name has been golly, Jennifer, go ahead. Justin, when you first gave me this cipher, I didn’t believe you, Jennifer Mistarbeest kept her voice low, as if she was speaking a secret that could reach malicious ears at any moment. But I’ve used this cipher, and I’ve been reading the flashing lights on this sphere as you’ve been speaking, and a coherent message has been forming. McElroy breathed a sigh of relief. Jennifer, I can’t tell you how reassuring it is to hear that. As I spoke this story aloud for the first time I was terrified that I had lost my mind. Let me know what the ball is saying. We all need to know. Hold on just I need to finish the last few letters. The television was silent for what felt like a whole minute until Jennifer Mistarbeest finally piped back in. Just in she said I finished the message. I’m going to read Eat it now all of you watching, I promise that this has been unaltered quote. Retro prices are coming back to white spot restaurants for the entire month of May period. Try a combo with our decadent Monte mushroom burger paired with a NAT Bailey milkshake, all for a stunning $25 period. Remember that it white spot the fries are endless, although the coleslaw isn’t but most of the time the kitchen staff is willing to give you extra if you ask period and quote Justin McElroy fell silent for a second. Well, that’s interesting. He said, reading my message and reading Jennifer’s suggests that whatever intelligent is operating the science world ball contains multitudes. Maybe it was just having a really bad day when it said the first thing or maybe it’s having a really good day today. We just don’t know yet. If this really is a new form of intelligent life, there’s still a lot we need to learn about it. I promise to keep you all posted if the ball at CN Rail scholarship globe says anything of note to me. Anyhow, that’s all for me. This is Justin McElroy, CBC News, Vancouver. Then he went down a big playground slide the camera tractor as he went all the way down. Danger



Danger, danger, danger, danger hasn’t come along yet.





Will Riley 

originally, there was about this place called the ark. It was the last city that existed after the tides rose really hugely. And so it became a sort of war of resistance between well the resistance which was led by a character named Brother Chen. And then the equal opposite on the security forces of the arc was called Captain Clinton moko Anna. And so that became sort of a multi Faction War based. Oh, I’m sorry, I have to I have to take this. Hi, everybody. It’s infinite danger. It’s me. We’ll again, we’re going to chug along right here. So I was just talking about something else for somebody else. So we’re just gonna get right into it. I suppose. This is episode three of danger Bay. It’s called the wharf rat. And it’s the third episode of course, but it’s referred to production code wise one dash 002. So this is only the second one that actually ever got filmed. We’ve seen this show get a little wild and wacky already for the first two episodes. First, we had a lot of establishing that the aquarium people are cops in this world. And then we immediately switched over to changing genres into westerns. This episode does pare back a little bit, it does become a little more rational. All that happens is that Nicole gets rabies. The daughter of the principal character, Dr. Grant Roberts is constantly under the threat of going rabid the entire episode. The fact that these episodes are ordered in the way they are is actually kind of fortuitous for us because the guest star is Stewart Margolin again, the guy who was directing the previous episode, so you know that big old intro I had with the Rockford Files intro all over it. That wasn’t just me wasting my time or messing around with Audacity that it’s actually efficient. What I did we have Stuart Margolin in two episodes in a row just on opposite sides of the camera. Yeah, me Oh, buddy, buddy. Thank you. So like I said last time, Margolin, he’s an American actor, but he was living in Salt Spring, which is a place near Vancouver Island, people who live there. You’re either an older lefty artist looking for some like minded folks to hang around, or you’re millionaires who want to find someplace to go play the didgeridoo all day. Not that you can’t really be both but what that means is that in Vancouver, there is always a small x For a stock of American actors that you get access to more easily than you’d expect only trouble is I need 20. So the director for this episode is Alan Eastman, who if you pay attention to stuff like this, this guy is going to go on to direct lots of episodes of Vancouver Film sci fi standbys, at least all of the ones that aren’t The X Files, so Starrcade Andromeda sliders, he directed episodes of tech war, he also directed a little show called Night man, Johnny



Domino was one of San Francisco’s how to film jazz musicians, but fate and a cosmic event were out to change his life forever.



John, your brain has managed to acquire the capacity to pick up certain frequencies like a radio your tune to the frequency of evil.


Will Riley 

Tonight, man is a superhero story. It’s actually based off of a real Marvel comic, one that was obscure even back then when the show got made. But I mean, it is very much it sounds like a parody of what a superhero origin story would be. Johnny Domino, a jazz musician who gets superpowers from being struck by lightning,



which enables him to overcome graphic fabrics, which are virtually a stealth mode adjacency disappear, a holographic display, which makes them appear where it’s


Will Riley 

got a very beautiful theme. So visit the theme song is probably the best bit about this show. But I mean, you watch it, and it doesn’t feel like it’s real. And other character that I should mention here is that the writer of this episode is a guy called Don Ballack, and he wrote a whole lot of TV shows over a whole lot of years, he wrote 25 episodes of Little House on the Prairie. If that means anything to you, in those years, you could you write 25 episodes of Little House on the Prairie. And you can sit on that for a while. After that. He just wrote single episodes here and there on a whole bunch of different shows, not always the most illustrious things, but things that paid he wrote for a show called lottery, exclamation point, Colin, the drama, which is basically exactly what it sounds like. It’s a drama about a bunch of different people who win the lottery. Imagine



your list of million plus wins. But this year, you’re going to have a partner



Eric, rush, IRS. We’re going to work together I think we need to learn a little bit, give and take. Thirdly, I give Oh, and I take right.


Will Riley 

Something that bears noting about lottery, the drama, is that one half of this IRS lotto duo is played by Ben Murphy. Now I’m sure some of you well versed in the writing with death cinematic universe can see how this is a gift and a curse. I mean, Ben Murphy, the man is too mellow. He’d just be walking around backstage and going, Oh, this craft service is really great. Who made this? And somebody goes, Oh, yeah, that’s our contractor, Abby Magnuson, and he goes, Abby, Abby’s some gal, and then he would just black out for like, 15 minutes, come back and act like nothing had happened. It’s really one of the reasons the show never really got off the ground. But this segment is about Don Ballard, not Ben Murphy. He really wasn’t old head he was writing for decades and decades. He came from an era where you can make a TV show just called police woman. And that was enough of a premise to sell a TV show. Sorry, police and woman. Up until this point, I thought that was an oxymoron until I saw this show. At least I think that would be what somebody would say in that era. So let’s leap into this a little faster than usual.


Will Riley 

We start this episode here, with a view of a little schooner as it sails down coasting out of Vancouver underneath the Berard Street Bridge past the West End. The music here is a little bit ominous. We see a few views of the West End of 1980s Vancouver. The West End is a part of the city where a lot of your tenements were He was a part of the city that was once seen as pretty grimy, and then slowly got gentrified and became upscale. I guess that doesn’t really help you know anything about that neighborhood, of course. I mean, you can use a combination of all of those words for basically any part of the city or West End. I mean, gas town, Chinatown, I guess, commercial drive. Like all of these places, you can just go Oh, yeah, it used to be seen as a little grimy, and then they made a bunch of restaurants where they have those light bulbs where you can sort of see the filament in it, and they put some potted plants around and then the rent went up, they did the usual story. So we see inside the boat and we see Stuart Margolin there, he’s playing basically a spooky old sea dog guy. He is more than any of the poachers that we’ve seen in this show so far. I guess he’s not really a poacher, but he really seems like a character out of the Dust Bowl era. He’s got like a rumpled plaid shirt. He’s wearing a tilted newsboy cap. I don’t know how well you can sail in that. floating along outside of the Vancouver area with his dog and then the dog starts barking around and hurriedly he tells him to pipe down and now five sounds


Will Riley 

as if there’s a chance that a barking dog will get any sort of attention in the port of a bustling city. Not much is imparted here other than the music telling us that this dog must be important and that he must be kind of scary when he is looking pretty damn cute here after the theme song. We just go straight back to Margolin and he has dog Ralph Margolin is docked somewhere near Granville Island, which is going to be in about a year or two a big touristy area after a whole bunch of urban rejuvenation, I guess would be the nicest term for it. He’s docked there he’s trying to feed his dog. It’s trying to eat feed his dog smoked cod apparently.



your very favorite speciality was folks we’ve known that don’t eat is good. No, cod smoked to perfection is how you like it.


Will Riley 

But it’s refusing to eat any of it. The music tells us that something bad is going on. And I mean, I’m going to tell you obviously this dog is going to be very important to the entirety of this episode, but they can’t really make the dog do anything that looks ominous. Like not yet in the plot, I guess but also just not in general. This dog is way too cute. It is just smiling and even when it’s being told no i What’s wrong with you, you’re not going to eat your smoke cod. The dog looks just totally thrilled and a happy


Will Riley 

we cut over to the Vancouver Aquarium. And what’s kind of interesting here is this is a first for this show. We see the Vancouver Aquarium acting as you know, an actual aquarium as we hear this slow and funky version of this theme song. As you know, we see a bunch of moms clapping as I watch an orca show like like a regular aquarium. We’re seeing an orca show here right now because this is filmed in 1984. But I guess before anybody starts booking any plans or anything, no orca shows in Vancouver Aquarium anymore. Understandably, I mean, they weren’t the main topic of that documentary. But the whole Blackfish debacle came to Vancouver just as well as SeaWorld. That space is being used for dolphins right now, which evidently need less space to live in, at least legally, they need less space to live in. You know, I can’t really imagine that a dolphin and an orca are going to make that much of a distinction as far as being caught in a little tank is concerned. Now I’m sure I don’t really have the research to back this up. But I mean, I’m pretty sure that Vancouver’s treatment of the ARCHOS probably wasn’t as bad as you know, SeaWorld in Orlando or San Diego, what have you. I mean, all Vancouver did was you know, sell those orcas to the company that was doing the abuse. Of course, nowadays, the aquarium gets away with it by taking its Joe out to international waters where animal protection laws are obviously a little lacks. I mean, it’s an expensive trip. But I mean, how else are you going to watch a 25 year old balance on a killer whales nose, I mean hell, it’s more immersive. If anything, you’re out in the deep ocean, you know, you’re going like well, I want to see orcas. Well, now you’re in the orcas home, we’ve caught these orcas, we’ve got them in a in a net area out at sea. But now you’re coming to them basically. Now, Vancouver obviously didn’t get the same sort of international media attention from Blackfish. And all of those other anti orca show documentaries. But it does give us sort of a lesson over the distinction between SeaWorld and say, the Vancouver Aquarium. I think it boils down to how before any SeaWorld show starts, somebody goes, SeaWorld is a proud supporter of all veterans and members of the armed forces. And if you’ve served in the armed forces of the US, or any of our allied forces, everybody, please stand up. So everybody here can applaud you. Yeah, I’d say if you don’t want to get in trouble with people don’t do that. Because I mean, every time you do something like that somebody in the audience is going, oh, man, this is bullshit. I mean, I wonder what else about this show is bullshit. And then they start doing research and you get in trouble. And I think, you know, since Vancouver didn’t do any of that they got less flak overall. I mean, they might have done things nearly as bad or just as bad as SeaWorld. But, you know, nobody was looking into it. Because they, because they weren’t, you know, waving a flag in people’s face every time. I do wonder sometimes if there’s some guy in the audience of all these shows, and he’s going, oh, man, they want veterans of the US and the US allies to stand up and get applause and I do it. But man, I served in the IRGC, I guess I can’t do it. That’s against the rules. We cut to the inside of the aquarium. We’re at the same lab that we’ve seen everybody in before the one with the poster of the pug champing beluga whale, there’s a conversation going on with Donna, the main lab tech, and she’s pulling out a whole bunch of barnacles out of a tank and starts talking about this sort of organic cement that you can make out of barnacles,



ferric acid on them, frozen them with liquid nitrogen. And now this, nothing seems to make the barnacles drop off



fascinating and organic cement. So you think you and Graham can come up with a formula? Well,



we’re close that would be superior to anything on the market.



What would you use it for?



dental work mainly, cement and crowns and fillings could



be a patent in it for the aquarium George and I’d say it’s a project we should support fully.


Will Riley 

Now, this is going to be a big tangent. I say that already knowing that it’s going to be a big tangent. But this is as good a time as any to talk about the character of Donna more specifically to talk about Donna’s actress Michelle Chan, this scene talking about medical patents and inventions. And making money for the aquarium is a very natural jumping off point to talk about Michelle Chan, and particularly how crazily wealthy she is now, da da da da da da da da da da da. originally born in South Africa, she made her big break in MacGyver before becoming a character in danger Bay. However, as she was pursuing her acting career, her husband Patrick soon Schoen, who is also from South Africa, and a UBC ms grad, thank you very much. He was working as a surgeon and UCLA med professor. It’s probably why she got this job. She was already really well accustomed to all the medical dialogue she’d be asked to rattle off throughout the show. What nobody on the danger Bay crew could have anticipated though, was that Patrick was slowly on the path to becoming a biotech billionaire, and 11 and a half billionaire to be precise. After he invented Abraxane an improvement on a pre existing chemo drug. He changed successful acquisitions and investments until he founded his own medical data company called nanthealth, which in a few years became networks LLC, a giant fiber optic company that does information and media infrastructure for practically everything. Patrick’s basically had a direct line to Donald Trump and Joe Biden. And as a medically routed company, you can guess networks also have The hand to play during the vaccine and booster development. Now, before you get any worn out narratives in your head, you know, billionaire Mary’s actress, and she doesn’t need to work anymore. Michelle chin really did have a role as a power broker in her own right. She ended her danger Bay tenure to effectively help her husband Empire build. If you run a media infrastructure company, which Nante works basically is now you inevitably have to get involved in media production, which was precisely up Michelle’s out. She is currently running NAT studio, a VFX company in El Segundo, which worked on Avatar among other things. And perhaps more important, though, in terms of what sort of influence Michelle Chan has in people’s day to day lives now is that she has a co ownership in the LA Times To this day, like a owning and controlling stake in the company. So you know, when you read the LA Times, you know, there are things in there that probably get put in the paper or taken out of the paper because Michelle chan says so when I see Michelle chan on my screen right now, especially when she’s talking about developing medical patents and making a lot of money, you’ll have to forgive me when the number 11 point 5 billion starts flashing in bright red behind my eyeballs in the back of my retinas. I get distracted when ice have to think about $11.5 billion


Will Riley 

so yeah, despite ending her official acting career post danger Bay she’s earned quite a nice little nest egg for herself after that. Still, I mean like she’s not making Christopher crab money or anything like that. You know sometimes I do wonder if when she’s sending mandates off to the LA Times is part of her going like Ah shit, I could have been making Chris crab money all this time. God damn it. But anyway, that like I said, it is a tangent, but we ought to go off to the rest of the show. Right now. We just need more barnacles, because Don has invention for making dentures basically, is going to need more barnacles, Jonah and Nicole offered to just go out and harvest some in the bay.



Hey, we can collect those. Yeah, the pilings at the harbor just loaded with them. Okay, if we use the outboard



here, go ahead.


Will Riley 

Another interesting parallel to the future here when Abraxane was being developed. Patrick soon Chung enlisted the help of a plucky brother sister team to procure the pig embryos he needed to test. Sorry enough about the billionaire let’s let’s move



  1. Hey, make sure the life jackets around your back. So


Will Riley 

let’s cut back to Margolin he’s still trying to feed fish to the dog Ralph.



Maybe you’ve been too long without good red meat. All right, man. If I can find it. Red meat it is then


Will Riley 

he heads off and leaves the dog alone. You might see where this is going. The moment he leaves Jonah and Nicole are puttering in towards their dog collecting barnacles under appear as they go along. The dog stares at them ominously and starts growling and we see a very stark horror movie POV shot as the dog spies, the kids on the scene. And finally, the dog leaves the boat. He’s crawling towards them as he balances on the horizontal beams of the pier, which is I mean, kudos to training a dog to do that. And nice innocent Nicole sees the dog goes like oh hey, boy, what’s going on, reaches towards the dog and in a bit of quick editing.


Will Riley 

Dog just snap bytes or hand. Now, that’s a puncture wound. And of course, what you do in a show like this, if you’re worried about how much the censors will come down on me, you immediately get a handkerchief covering up the suppose it wound, the actor holds their hand in it and acts out the pain. And depending on how daring you are, you put a few drips of fake blood on the handkerchief. And, you know kudos This show doesn’t really do that. You don’t see the actual puncture but they have no reservations about just covering this child actress hand when fake blood. She’s just like holding on to her hand and they’ve just already got a bunch of wonderful spaghetti sauce just all over her hands. It really hurts. So ocean Hellman is holding on to a hand on Ooh, owl. This really hurts. Oh god, you know, the usual routine. And then Jonah just immediately go Let’s



see if he could have rabies, Nicole, just stay put,


Will Riley 

hold on, I’m going to check on that dog. It might have rabies, which, you know, I don’t know, it’s possible. It definitely sounds like something that could happen in a rare circumstance. And I mean, these characters do have some sort of a predator natural understanding of what the plot of these episodes are going to be. But I mean, you get bit by a dog and somebody else immediately goes, Oh, let me check for rabies. I mean, that’s something that you do if you’re trying to fuck with somebody if you’re being a little sadistic little shit. That’s what you would do too. So Jonah, runs over tries to get towards the dog. He’s trying to confront ralpher to check for I don’t know foam at the mouth, I guess. And he just can’t get close. You know, the dog is more agile, despite apparently having rabies. It can do its acrobatics underneath this pier a lot easier, I suppose.


Will Riley 

And, yeah, we can’t get close. Something I can’t help but notice here is they’re playing scary growls in EDR over the soundtrack, but it really does just look like the dog is smiling the whole time that



I didn’t care anything.


Will Riley 

Dog is just having the time of his life. He’s gone. I get to be on television. There’s all these nice people feeding me treats and all I got to do is walk around and pretend to bite people that’s that’s great. He’s had this dog is having the time of his life despite supposedly trying to play a rabid dog. What is it


Will Riley 

so he just Ralph the dog just runs off. He finds his way back into Stuart Margolin boat, who immediately know something is off. What’s wrong with you? You’ve never been a person in your mind your thought out of sorts bother you scared but doesn’t know exactly what’s going on. Immediately after this. He is quickly confronted by a very military looking dock guard.



You there. What are you doing here?



Morning Junior captain.



That’s the question please. I see your landing failed.


Will Riley 

Then he asked about whether or not the dog is clear to leave the boat. What have



you done off your boat? Not an inch. You’re just playing lucky. I want you out of here right away. Rough



me we don’t want to cause any problems. I’ll be right out of here right this minute.


Will Riley 

So now it’s fiscally revealed even though Stuart Margolin is character really does look poacher ish. This is one of the scant non poacher episodes we’ve encountered right now. Instead, it’s all about wildlife, Customs Enforcement. Basically, we finally have an episode dedicated to the brave men and women keeping people’s dogs and cats out of Australia under the threat of euthanasia. It’s about high time that they got a little bit of attention. Margolin just lies that Ralph never left the boat and the cop angrily sends them off. And Margolin makes a clean getaway and the dog doesn’t ever get tested


Will Riley 

it’s kind of a funny thing, like it’s, we basically have shown that Margolin is basically boat hobo. He is assumed to be basically a dust bowl guy. We have confirmation that this character is homeless apart from his boat. Oh,



Ralph and I got off the boat, the Lord’s waters to say this


Will Riley 

is basically a guy with a waterproof bindle we cut back to the lab and the cold is getting that wound cleaned. And Jonah reveals he didn’t really see any evidence of rabies. Granted, all he’s looking for is a foaming mouth. He



was acting real crazy. I couldn’t make any frothing at the mouth. It only



happens in the last and most violent stages you took a dangerous chance on



Yeah, no, but I was worried about Nicole


Will Riley 

grant maintains the possibility that it could be rabies.



That’s a possibility we


Will Riley 

can’t afford to overlook app but Jonah really does seem to be fucking with Nicole this entire time. I don’t think that it’s even intentional. Jonah just brings up on prompted Can I



still treat people with other shots in the stomach? What?



I can’t go through that take it easy. They


Will Riley 

don’t do that anymore. Exactly the worst thing that a little girl could hear at this moment. Michelle tells us that they stopped doing that a few years ago and I I’m just going like, oh how much we have progressed over the years. We don’t we just put rabies shots in the arm. Now we don’t have to jab it into the gut. I stopped



using the pasture treatment a few years ago. Now the rabies diploid vaccine standard and also give a rabies immune globulin shot to protect until the death


Will Riley 

11 point 5,000,000,011 point 5 billion grant going into director mode, he wants that vaccine administered within 24 hours, chances



are you won’t even need it. We’ll go find that dog. Check them out. If he’s healthy, that’ll be the end of that.



I want you to go and call the health department’s we get number and check to see where we can get that diploid cell vaccine in case we need it. I wanted to have both those shots in 24 hours. And in half that time, if the dog is rabid, I’ll take care of it.



Okay, the


Will Riley 

city hospitals have access to something like that. But then there is a beautiful, like truly amazing plot contrivance here.



This just isn’t our day. There’s no more deployed vaccine. Eight people of an African expedition needed rabies shots last week, and the health department ordered more, but he won’t be in until next week. They’ve got the globulin vaccine, though,


Will Riley 

I wonder right away in the entire African expedition got rabies, which makes the health department entirely out of that specific vaccine. Like how does that even come about? I mean, I guess you can have an issue of contamination or have something got something that is, you know, infected that everybody uses. But I mean, you hear oh, an entire expedition got rabies, and you just go what are these people passing around a hyena getting bitten for fun? Oh visually, the most important thing to me about this scene is that George Dunbar’s Hagen Biggs’s office has this giant, massive window which is attached to the Orca tag. Now this is actually real, they didn’t just set up a regular office set inside the viewing part of the Orca tank and then just go to town with that lots of offices in the Vancouver Aquarium are directly attached to the Orca tank and they can look out their windows and just see orcas are now the dolphins just going around their business. And I mean, I remember visiting the aquarium as a kid and finding it really weird that the office windows were attached to the home of a massive majestic sea creature. And every single one of them had their blinds closed. Some of it stemmed from not wanting tourists to spy on them. But it primarily came from an incident where the Orca Hyak to, through a complex system of clicks and bodily gestures communicated to management that one of the employees was watching porn at work and he was promptly fired. So that’s why everybody has their blinds closed. Really?



What will happen to the dog? If he is rabid?



They’ll have to be killed immediately. And then the brain tissue examined to verify the rabies.



Do they really have to do that? When unfortunately,



there is no cure for animals. One rabid dog has started an epidemic and other animals and endanger a whole lot of people.


Will Riley 

Grant gets in touch with that dog captain that we saw. And it turns out that he’s working a small military dock in van de Park, which is actually still there. So I was saying that he looked really military and then it turned out he wasn’t just overdressed for the occasion. This guy actually works for the Navy, basically. And he identifies the boat he tells grant what he’s looking for and who’s in it and what he thought of the dog. No idea doc. He just seemed like another word for that. But the doc seemed okay, when I sent him all packing, well, Which



direction did they take? Northwest? Can you describe the boat?



Well, it was a black metal catch nothing very special about it. And


Will Riley 

then Grant who we’ve already seen is in charge of the cops, or at least outranks them talks to the guy in the military garb and goes Can



you help us with this helicopter have a ground


Will Riley 

can you get us a hovercraft which is amazing. It’s beautiful. Now it is clear that the Vancouver Aquarium is able to tell the pope regular police what to do. But it is a debate among fans still to this day exactly what level of control that the Vancouver Aquarium has over the Canadian military or the Navy. The usual theory that people have about this scene is that it is to demonstrate that actually, you know maybe the control the aquarium has over the military is limited. But in this instance, Grant probably outranks this dock captain that the chain of command between the Vancouver Aquarium and the Canadian Navy is probably a complex system of checks and balances.



Can you help us with this helicopter have a grasp?



Don’t worry, I’ll get on it right away. It



might take a little while. Thanks, Bill. You know how important I do.


Will Riley 

Grant gets on his Vancouver Aquarium branded boat shoves off and gives chase. He brings Jonah along with him. And I guess that can make sense story wise, but he also brings Nicole on which you know, why would he bring Nicole around if she’s a injured and be potentially rabid? potentially going to get the stirs going to go on this boat Chase and go? Oh, no, Nicole, your your pelts is so mad heads all of the sudden, what happened to your lustrous her grant needs an extra set of eyes. And so he asks for backup, the person they asked for backup, again is Joyce grant is asking for backup from Joyce. And it’s the same thing as the last episode grant will pursue on the ground or I suppose, on the sea. And then Joyce will get a better view from above. This is a pretty common dynamic that happens. And a lot of the action scenes in this show, the discussion on the radio is actually filmed kind of dynamically. It’s really interesting, at least for a TV show, of this era. And of this, at this point little renowned just yet, she’s talking on the radio while the plane moves towards the camera. And the mechanic is doing a bunch of maintenance. And the movement is really smooth. It’s just this smooth transition to her moving into the cockpit from the radio to talking to the mechanic to getting into the plane and then just flying off. And it’s very few cuts. Surprisingly, it’s pretty well put together. The next bit to me is kind of an uncanny sight. Joyce is just going to fly away and they’re going to the crew was going to take advantage of that access to a pontoon plane and show a lot of views of urban scenes of Vancouver before the plane moves out into a more wild area and is the plane flies out they deliberately choose to put the plane with a backdrop of Canada Place still under construction. Now, Canada Place is as a building only sort of architecturally interesting it just straight out into the water like you built a pier. And then you decided to turn it into a totally enclosed building. It’s got a big tent that raises and descends sort of like canopies on sports stadiums. I mean, for the most part, it’s just a convention center pal. It’s a convention center that now has to compete with another even more architecturally impressive one built right next to it. And by that I mean it juts out exactly the same as Canada place but it has a green roof. It’s really



too big to think about simply as a built into the green roof, the glass, exterior glass wall, the wood walls, they’re all very unique to this project.


Will Riley 

What’s more interesting to me, is what this building represents. When you talk about Vancouver architecture downtown, it often goes well we’ve got a whole swath of modern buildings coming from as late as 1986. But we also have some real great bits of vintage architecture coming from as far back as 1986. and Canada Place is effectively that Harbinger. It’s a centerpiece of the great change to Vancouver that occurred in Expo 86. We’re right on the cusp of the Old City, the old Vancouver being washed away. This building, especially under construction evokes such a specific era, to the extent that it feels like it’d be heavy handed visual exposition in a period piece. Like if an American movie showed the empire state building being built, or a Japanese movie showed the Tokyo Olympic Stadium being halfway up or in a more tasteless category when a movie uses CGI to put the Twin Towers back up onto the skyline. But I mean, the thing is, this shot of Canada Place under construction is contemporary for its time. It’s trying to be modern. It’s trying to show what Vancouver looks like at that time, but it’s accidentally so of its era, that it becomes a period pace in a way that seems unintentional, but inadvertently artificial as well. Any kid today though, would still be be impressed by them at large and getting fries on ship. McDonald’s if we cut back to Stuart Margolin and his dog, and mostly we are demonstrating that the dog is getting slowly nuttier over the last few hours, he does not know what the hell is going on anymore. What is


Will Riley 

even on what is effectively a long distance boat Chase, Grant still keeps calling work and keeps on asking his boss about those vaccines. And as they keep doing this, there’s more and more contrivances just piling on top of each other. I mean, nothing’s going to beat there was an African expedition and every single person got rabies. But they start going, Oh, no, it’s all the labs on the East Coast are closed for the weekend.



Nicole can have the globulin shots tonight just to be safe. But we need to deploy ready. If it has to come from the East Coast, there’s plenty of time to get it on a plane.



I know. But I already checked with three hours time difference, all the labs are closed down for the weekend.



Dry the hospital.



Right? I’m giving



back George.


Will Riley 

I mean, that tells me that that doesn’t happen in Canada, I feel like Canadians have to deal with the time difference more than other people for some reason, just because so much stuff is is in Ontario and in Quebec, and I live on the opposite coast. Now this next thing is pure nitpicker. And I totally confess to that. But one little thing that is kind of weird is when you film in Vancouver, and you’re trying to explicitly showcase the Vancouver landscape, you’re probably going to do a bunch of stuff that doesn’t make sense logistically just so that you can get the good shots. Grant and his family in the previous scene, they had exited just past the Berard bridge. And then in this scene, they’re passing under the Lions Gate Bridge, which basically means they went west a few kilometers and then just went back east the moment the coast opened up again, like this is in about probably 15 minutes, you can ride your bicycle and you can get from this bridge at the start to the next bridge in like 20 Maybe 30 minutes if your fence it’s like a walkable distance. Then in the next aerial shot, we see them going in the opposite direction under the bridge. So it is purely just well what is the most beautiful bits of Vancouver and we will rearrange logistically around that. And I mean it is understandable that they would do this because the shot is of Joyce in her plane flying right past the Lions Gate Bridge and the Lions Gate Bridge which sort of connects West van which is technically a different city to Vancouver proper. And it is basically one of the main things that you see on postcards here. And you can understand why it is a big tourist thing because it goes straight into Stanley Park. And that means that you’ve got this image of this big 1930s looking bridge that is huge and a nice bright green and it’s going straight into a forest basically like it disappears into the woods. And that’s it’s a great visual. So lots of people do use Lions Gate Bridge as part of their commute the traffic is bad but it looks really good. The thing that does it for me though that is a little one of the reasons that I don’t ride my bicycle over it is that there is a water treatment plant directly underneath. So that means that it is very beautiful and it’s good for photos. And if you’re driving it’s a really nice commute. But if you are not insulated from the smell of feces on a foggy day, it becomes slightly less pleasant but I mean that is most of Vancouver life I suppose things are very beautiful to look at and they are good to behold if you have the insulation of a car or of your own house, but if you are unprotected, the awful smell of everything around you starts to become overpowering. Joyce gets on the radio and just starts talking to Nicole over the walkie talkie. And a lot of the stuff she’s saying is supposed to be encouraging but I it’s obvious that everything that she’s saying is just remind Finding Nicole, about her rabies, no matter how much you say about how you’re going to get past it. I mean, if you keep on saying, Yeah, Nicole, don’t worry about the rabies that you have. The rabies that you have isn’t going to be that big of an issue, we will probably find a cure for your rabies that are racing through your bloodstream right now. Hang in there. Come on. I mean, even if the rabies makes you start foaming in your mouth, and your vision starts getting permanently wreck, we will fix this issue of the rabies that are slowly making their way into your nervous system. Don’t think about the rabies, Nicole, we’ve got it. We’ve got your rabies under control. Don’t think about the rabies while these people on your side what could go wrong? And so after the pep talk, Nicole, you know, maybe it’s an acting issue. Maybe Nicole didn’t get maybe ocean Hillman didn’t get directed in the right way. But she looks way more depressed after that pep talk than she did before. I wouldn’t blame her. There are lots of pep talks in the world that just make you feel worse. Remember, Grant asking the military guy if he can get access to a hovercraft? Well, it turns out that that worked on the coast guard



standing in a hovercraft, and Clarence, keep looking.


Will Riley 

Just like telling the Coast Guard to just speed up that just worked. Now we’ve got footage of a hovercraft going around looking for a little boat with a dog in it.



Raja nostoc This is Neptune on the potty and Comox at the opposition six minutes make


Will Riley 

unit grant really does have that control. He can just get all the cool weaponry, all the cool utility that he wants and it will just do his bidding. It is a great power fantasy. If you work in an aquarium, the camera turns back on Margolin and the inevitable has happened. Ralph the dog is getting really mad getting really agitated. And Margolin tries to grab at the dog and he himself finally gets bit



warmer. Tell me what it is, don’t you? I know



as soon as we put in


Will Riley 

Ravy great line reading between now and 10 minutes ago, apparently. I mean, we were just told that foaming at the mouth is the final stage of rabies. And I mean, I don’t know how fast rabies develops in in the nervous system or get in the bloodstream of a mammal. But the fact that we are going from no signs of foaming at the mouth to like pure foaming at the mouth, just a whole bunch of shaving cream on its face is that fast is wow. I mean I’d not to go what what do we expect some sort of magic xylophone here. What do we expect some magic rabies in this dog, buddy, but it is it is a plot hole. Let’s let’s just call it is a plot hole, who I mean really, the bigger inconsistency that’s going on here is that you know this dog has foam put on its mouth. And we’ve got a bunch of scary growling over the ADR. But I mean this dog is way too happy for this to work. He’s got his tongue out. He’s got big blue eyes. He’s panting like somebody has just shaken his favorite toy atom just off camera. In some ways. It does make what’s going on a little sadder. Because it’s not quite an Old Yeller thing. It makes us sadder because we’re being made to envision the disease death of a dog that everyone watching can see. In reality, it has nothing wrong with them. Like they’re going like the show is going man it’s going to suck when this dog dies. Look at how great this dog is. Even as we are putting all these fakie little indicators that he’s supposed to be diseased and have to be killed immediately. Mostly you’re just going look at this cute dog. It’s gonna suck when we kill him get ready for it killed immediately the search continues and grant and joy start doing a lot of named drops of Vancouver geography.



We found nothing around ragged Island very Eastern. Check out the code. We’ll continue searching the Bowen Island area



north from Gibson On the Powell River,


Will Riley 

it’s it’s basically like when American shows just start listing off a bunch of California and highways. It’s sort of like that one little thing. I don’t know exactly how they managed to leap from Lions Gate Bridge to Bowen Island. So quick when the last time we had this big cut going from the Brar bridge to Lions Gate Bridge was a big trek basically back on the boat. Margolin watches Ralph barking in the ship’s hold, and Margolin looks back and forth. He is totally conflicted. And then with a little bit of hemming and hawing, he finally just accepts. Yep, it’s Old Yeller time. He opens a steel box and he pulls out his rifle. Now, I know rifles are sensitive things, especially if you’re living near saltwater, so you’ve got to protect them in some way. But there is something so disconcerting to me about the image of a gun covered in a dirty potato sack. Margolin loads the gun with his bloodied hand he walks into the whole wide shot of the boat and nothing else and next thing we see after an ad break Mark golden leaves the chips hold he’s got a bag with his dead dog in it and he’s obviously totally choked up about it. Route and it’s a sad scene but I mean there’s something unintentionally funny to me about how excessively bloody this this potato sack is. What did you miss the first time I like how many bullets did you put in this dog this this thing is seeping with blood Margolin carries the bag and he does what he can with the emotional weight of having to mime a weight of a bloody bag of old newspapers basically puts it down and finally Margolin resolves to report the rabies.



We better go and find that poor girl suddenly,


Will Riley 

and signals with the sale of his boat to Joyce at long last. Joyce happens to fly over Margolin just assumes Oh yeah, they’re coming for me, makes a signal with his sail and gets ready to get picked up. Turns out that that hovercraft was just totally extraneous. Neptune



isn’t Northstar, we’ve located a boat up in Half Moon Bay.



That’s wonderful. Roger returning device.


Will Riley 

I’m guessing Paul Saltzman either had the footage or wanted to use it. And I mean, who can blame him hovercrafts are cool. Really the important part for us to know in this show, lore wise, don’t forget that grant has this authority. He can tell the Coast Guard what we what they can do. And now he’s managed to be able to tell a guy in military garb to his face. I want you to commission this hovercraft. I mean, that’s what’s really important in the long run for this show. There’s a shot that’s actually kind of strikingly lonely of Margolin looking off standing on the roof of his boat, waiting for the aquarium people to arrive. It’s just him back to the camera looking off at the rocky landscape. And it’s actually, to me, there’s all these grand vistas that they’re showing in this show all these all these views straight out from the cockpit of a plane showing all the big tourist areas. But really, this is the shot to me that makes me think about Vancouver the most this rocky sort of uncaring landscape, a sort of beautiful desolation with a little bit more water and trees. Margolin and the Roberts family finally get to meet and they talk with each other



You’re looking for my dog I know there is killed immediately pointing


Will Riley 

at a bag just totally soaked in blood. Margolin sort of explains what was going on and what was going on in his head and gives this grand apology for all the troubles that he’s caused. And something that is striking about this episode. Nobody gets excessively mad at Stuart Margolin about all of this. And I mean, in terms of writing a script, it would have been very easy



thought never came to me until he beat my hand at this thing back to find the girl was useless and yes, I’m so sorry. You see Ralph there he was the sweetest gentleman’s friend a man could learn. How could such a thing happen?


Will Riley 

But instead the plot just immediate li prioritizes Nicole’s fear and the need to get the right vaccine for her and now for Margolin as well. Now



Now don’t worry sweetheart, globulin vaccine when we get home and everything will be okay.


Will Riley 

Really, the only criticism he gets that he didn’t give his dog the proper shots is practically ADR in How could



such a thing happen?



Well, I’m afraid you let it happen, your dog should have had his shots.


Will Riley 

For both of the episodes that we’ve seen about poachers, I think I said that the opportunity for redemption or forgiveness is foreclosed upon before we even meet any of the characters. But here, this character is just forgiven just right off the bat. It’s a very different way of thinking about these characters. Grant gives Stuart Margolin all of these directives are for what he’s supposed to do about everything that is potentially infected with rabies in his boat. Well,



Mr. Very, you can tie your boat up and my dog can tell you and my daughter have had your rabies shots. But we’re going to have to burn everything that your dog could have salivated on and then we’re going to have to scrub your vote down thoroughly with a disinfectant,



whatever you say, truffle app, is


Will Riley 

I listened to the dialogue, I basically go man, the way the world has changed. Hmm. You can’t even get somebody to get basic vaccinations nowadays. And Margolin, a man who very clearly has very little in his possession gets told, burn everything your dog might have salivated on, and he just accepts that willingly. Now, I mean, not to stereotype. But if you were trying to create a visual portrait of anti Vaxxer on an episode of a law and order, you couldn’t really do much better than Margolin right now and how he looks. But that’s we’re not in that world just yet. So we can actually give this character a little bit of benefit of the doubt whatever you say, as the boat gets towed away. We hear from the aquarium staff that they still haven’t found the right vaccine that they need. They do have a vaccine that will keep the symptoms at bay, but nothing yet that will actually get the rabies out of their system,



dinosaurs they still haven’t been able to locate the second vaccine.



Now don’t worry, sweetheart, don’t worry, there’s still plenty of time.


Will Riley 

Fast forward a few hours, we’ve got the dog on a surgery table in the aquarium lab. And they start going through all of the symptoms of rabies that this dog has Donna, in a very interesting line read just goes



have a positive idea and everybody’s was loaded with rabies.


Will Riley 

He was loaded with rabies. And that’s loaded with rabies is just such a funny turn of phrase for for me, just that sort of choice going like Oh yeah, that dude’s stomach loaded with cancer. This guy’s kidney loaded with stones. Just using the phrase loaded in any way in regards to a medical issue is is funny to me for some reason. Another weird turn of phrase from billionaire Donna,



when you file a report.



Grant has made you crazy. Robert,



I’ll be with George.


Will Riley 

Don’t let this make you crazy. It’s not the most sensitive thing to say in regard to rabies. More searching for the right vaccine. Grant and Hagen bags are talking about how fast they got to work where they got to look for the proper vaccine that they need, et cetera. They’re doing the big walk and talk.



Donald’s gonna let me know the



minute you locate the vaccine. Well, Nicole has to have it right away. Well, we’re still trying to hospitals.


Will Riley 

And it’s a bit of a mixed visual message because they’re doing all of this through the rainforest wing of the aquarium which just so happens to be where they keep the sloths. It’s been a busy day for everybody in the Roberts household. And Nicole has to be sent off to bed. And strangely enough, though, in order to give more educational input to the people who are watching the show, Nicole decides to go on the computer and learn everything about the rabies that are inside her right before she goes to bed. You know, as you do rabies,



also known as hydrophobia and acute deadly virus disease transmitted by the bite of an infected animal. Fatal fatal to humans. Treatment should be started immediately following exposure.



You’re I’m still sore, not much. At once a my chocolate to she’s


Will Riley 

going to bed and the last thing that she’s thinking about before she closed As her eyes is the deadly disease circulating in her body right now, you know, you go to bed and you start, you know, reading about anemia. And I gotta tell you just visions of sugar plums dancing in one’s head. Now here’s the thing. After Nicole goes to bed thinking about her rabies, there is like no time left in this 22 minute episode. I mean, I guess they didn’t realize how much time was left. They did all this filming and they had all these shots that they didn’t want to get rid of, apparently, like the script literally has the proper vaccine, like phoned in, like literally, it’s a phone call.



That could be George, don’t go just yet. Hagen


Will Riley 

Beggs calls in and goes oops, I found a lab in Toronto that can get it in by 9am. Tomorrow.



I’ve caused a lot of sleepless nights in North America. But I think the job is done. I got the manager in a lab outside Toronto to open up. He’s sending the vaccine.


Will Riley 

A grant is too much of a dad to give thanks beyond simply saying. Yes.



Thanks very much. Forget


Will Riley 

  1. And yeah, that’s it. There’s an ad break. But there’s very little to actually do. The plane flies in here it is. Thanks, Joyce. We see a nurse administer a shot to Nicole. Are there any side effects? Just eliminates the rabies. We sort of pan away so we don’t see the needle entering her arm. And, you know, hey, we’re done. Episodes done.



I’ll be leaving. Okay. Well,



I’ll walk you down.


Will Riley 

We finished the whole thing up with a quick discussion between Margolin and grant him talking about the rough life that he’s got a



really Thank you folks. It’s the closest thing to live in with a family I can remember. You’re welcome and


Will Riley 

how he’s feeling about rabies and all the trouble he’s caused. And he’s he’s very sad and sorry about it. And then they go well, you can go off and live your life. But there’s one last thing we want to do. And they bring in a brand new dog,



John, and I didn’t want you to get real lonely on that boat. So come on, and Donna.



Oh, fine looking fella. We were hoping that you would like


Will Riley 

him. And I’m looking at it and it is almost assuredly the same dog. They’re holding him like really close together and holding him as if he’s a baby. But he is the exact same size as Ralph the rabies dog.



And he’s had all his rabies shots.


Will Riley 

Good. And then they cut to Stuart Margolin going into the boat floating off into the horizon, they freeze frame on everybody waving at him. And then that’s the end of the episode.



How would it be before now? I was calling around then after



that after that would say around the world to get one last time. It


Will Riley 

ends really fast. So I mean, what do we have to think about for this episode? I mean, it’s really nice to see Margolin do a little bit of acting, he is given some opportunities to be a good character actor. He is playing a very broad sort of title, but he is doing it fairly well. It is interesting to see this story have weighed more individualized stakes. They’re high stakes, but we’re not dealing with complex operations this time. It’s not a poacher episode, even if it does involve technically breaking the law. That’s the



question, please. I see your landing page. Well, have you been off your boat?


Will Riley 

And really this is the first episode of this show in which some sort of modicum of mercy is given to people who skirt the rules to some extent you get when you watch those first two episodes. You can sort of expect like there was there is a universe in which Stuart Margolin just goes like I don’t care. I love having a dog with rabies. It makes my dog it makes my dog really cool. It makes my dog get that killer instinct and I love having a dog with rabies and you can’t stop me hahaha. And then he gets punched he falls into the water and then end of episode, but we did something a little nicer this time, and it’s really the first main episode that we’ve had that deals with forgiveness rather than grant being a instrument of divine aquatic revenge. It’s also good to see Nicole, who in the previous episode was mostly defiant when she got kidnapped. Horses



don’t mind because they’re not criminals. We had


Will Riley 

some sort of scene of the Lisa Simpson of this show, being a little more vulnerable and expressing some actual worry, and trying to giving being given a bit more of an opportunity to show some acting chops than the previous episode. There was one main scene in the second episode that she did some good acting, but for the most part, it was an action show and so she was off to the side. But now we actually get to see ocean Helman being an actress as Stewart Margo and goes off into the sunset literally riding off into the sunset and talking to his brand new dog. I just wanted to talk about this particular character that he’s playing and his relationship to the outside world basically. Now, I’ve talked about some of the aquatic Fantasia that goes on in some of these episodes of danger Bay the school boat remember it could be assumed by this depression era chic that Margolin is wearing and the confirmation that he is homeless apart from his boat like that this is another exaggeration to make danger Bay’s Vancouver seem more aquatic Lee oriented than it actually is. This idea of like, Oh, it’s a boat hobo. You know, he’s gotten. He’s gotten a waterproof bindle and he is living off a smoked cod. He is he’s living underneath the tracks of an underwater train. And this is a premise that you might expect to be a little bit of an exaggeration and understandably so. But I’ve met people like this before. Every once in a while I hang around cafes and deep Cove. And because it has one of the few public marinas in the area, one rainy day, the only customers were me and a man who lived in his boat, and he was sheltering from the wind. Apparently he had been there since opening and he was desperate to talk to anybody about anything because he hadn’t had the chance to in a week talk to anybody apart from enforcers like the one in this episode, who were shuffling them off from place to place. There isn’t really any sort of rambling journey like what’s implied for Margolin going from place to place, you really only move when you’re forced to his boat, this guy would readily say was basically the only thing keeping him from counting among the truly homeless, like sort of like people who their house is their car or their RV or something like that. The main things he wanted to talk about with me was everything that was wrong with the boat, all the repairs, he couldn’t really afford. The fact that he was getting tired of eating all the canned and all the dry food that he had. I sort of wonder how much of this life was voluntary and how much was involuntary at this point in his life. To be clear, I don’t think this was some wealthy guy. Having the mother of all midlife crises and taking to the sea. Though I’m sure people like that exist. Wealthy people don’t have teeth like this guy had by choice. I don’t know if this was the exact trajectory of his life, but I can easily imagine it. And imagine it happened to a lot of people in Vancouver specifically, especially considering his age. You come to Vancouver in maybe like the early 80s. And you can’t afford a house because you’re still looking for work. So hey, you’re going to work on the water anyway. So buy a boat, think of it as an investment and build up some money before you make your life on land with the established Vancouverites. But the more you work, the more jobs you swap between. By the time you make the money that was supposed to have done the job. The rules have changed. It’s a service economy now, you don’t have the money to even rent a place still and the rent issue is so bad in fact that you can’t even just dock the boat and live there. Industrial ports are full up and civilian ports are expecting the average boat owner to be making dental practice money at a minimum and they price those docks accordingly. The city has maroon new it’s an entirely different game after they built this new thing called Canada Place. And this guy was talking to is it an isolated case You can go to the water around science world and find little patches that look like water worlds really just a whole collection of boats and docks and buoys, and anything that floats just tied together to try and make as much of a home for somebody as possible. That sort of life sort of seems like purgatory. To me, there’s a shore full of skyscrapers, but you’re only permitted in Ireland a metre or two wide, that doesn’t even have the benefit of standing still, as far as you’re concerned, those glittering towers, the bustle of city life, it doesn’t have a purpose beyond solely to mock you. And that’s Vancouver.


Will Riley 

So the developers implemented this thing called the smart system, which stands for smooth movement across random terrain. And the thing that was oh, sorry, no, I got to take this. So that was the end of that episode. Thanks for listening. Thanks for tuning in. I hope you enjoy this episode. Just going to bring up this next new episode of danger Bay today.


Will Riley 

Jonah Roberts slices his sonic glade through the necks of three rabid dogs at once. The remnants of the bodies explode into red mist. A whole swarm of wild dogs have surrounded him. The camera spins 360 degrees around Jonah as each dog attacks him one by one like a kung fu film, all swiftly and lethally dispatched by the eons old Blaze. The CGI blood takes up 30% of the screen shit Gianna contemplates himself snapping get another Husky spine in half. I never should have listened to the pencil pushers at the aquariums health response units putting a chip in every fucking dog’s brain for instant rabies detection was never a Satan plan. All it’s done is create a backdoor for the sea urchin God to hack through now he’s got his spiky fingers into the neural functions of all the canines in the city. A Starling Corgi leaps at Jonah who promptly redirects it to momentum straight through a plate glass window. Samba somebody is going to have to pay for this in confidence Jonah reflects cutting through his third Australian cattle dog and all these beautiful animals sent to the slaughter by my own hand. I’d cry if I had any tears left to shed. Jonah pushes a few buttons on his wireless wrist radio, patching himself in to the newly enhanced sea lion which serves as an intermediary between the Vancouver Aquarium and the national military. We need to raise all the kennels in the city he yells. I’m officially ordering every leopard three tank we have to blow up all of the kennels. Just that moment an entire family of slobbering st Bernard’s dropped from the rafters executing a stealth Death from above maneuver. Jonah’s ancient sights erases the dog’s entire bloodline and a single swing before any of them even managed to hit the ground. Jonah busts out a quip. It’s going to take more than a bit of brandy to fix that. Motherfucker. A message pings on Jonah’s heads up display, it’s from the head of the aquariums Health Department situated out on Bowen Island. Mr. Roberts, we found the source of the hack. It was localized as it was localized at the access point in my house, sir, I know the aquarium is meant to centralize all its data in one place to prevent against extra dimensional hacks. But I thought my home had all the appropriate protective sigils nobody could have predicted the sea urchin God would have come back. I can fix this. All I need to do is find a way to quarantine my home network, and I can still save many of the dogs. All I need is some time. Mr. Roberts, Jonah. I know this is my fault. But you have to understand my daughter. She has the BKT I needed that access to work on finding a cure. I was trying to save lives but now all the damage I’ve caused. Even though I know I don’t deserve forgiveness, Mr. Roberts, there’s nothing I can do but apologize. Jonas says nothing for a long time before finally speaking. If there’s anyone who knows what BKD can do to human body, it’s me. Doctor, I forgive you get to work cutting off that hack immediately. I’ll try to hold up these dogs on my end. I thank you Mr. Roberts. I’ll need an hour hour and a half tops. The health department head hangs up. The moment the call ends Jonah immediately gets back in contact with the military sea lion. Change of plans call off the leopard threes instead. I want everybody to get in their planes and drop every fucking bomb you’ve got on the house of the traitors, motherfucker. I was just talking to the Sealine salutes with his flipper and ends the call. That oughta quarantine your little home network. Fitch cut to the nighttime silhouette of Bolin Island as explosion after fiery explosion lights up the horizon. A montage begins showing waves of rabid mind controlled dogs falling unconscious as the malware controlling their brain chips shuts off from the west end to East van Jonah sharply exhales through his nose the closest thing to a sigh of relief he’ll ever produce. He’s now smoking a new port in his blood stained right hand watching the sunset on a new day in Vancouver. The camera slowly pans down to his left hand revealing that he is clutching a massive key ring holding 10s if not hundreds of literal dog tags. blood runs down his arm and past his hand staining the dog tags and even deeper shade of red freeze frame as the credits roll. Really good episode great writing. I think it really demonstrates how modern danger Bay better understands creating emotional stakes in your TV show. Like the old episode we went through this podcast like I’m supposed to have all this emotional investment in one guy’s dog with rabies. You know how you actually produce real emotional stakes. You have every dog in the entire city get rabies Now that’s how you get some actual investment out of your audience way better. Well, that’s it for me today. Thanks very much again for listening. I hope we’ve all learned something today. I’m not sure exactly why. Check out the usual social feeds Twitter, blue sky, etc. I’m chasm cave KSM KV. One last little bit of self promo. If you live in the Vancouver area and you’re looking for a fun way to spend an hour or two outside I’ve written two guided tours of gas town and Granville Island respectively for a tourism app called questo. Think of it as a mini phone based ARG. Unfortunately copyright laws being what they are I’m not allowed to insert any danger base stuff in it. The gas town tour is for pay but the Granville Island one is currently in a free beta if you want to test it out and then send me some notes then please let me know. Otherwise just give it a try and leave a rating. All right, see you later guys. danger comes from below.