Unrelated Memory #17495

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One year at Halloween, when Field Marshall Stack and I were in high school, we went to his neighborhood, went to the closest 7/11, got as much candy as we could afford (which wasn’t much, as we didn’t have a lot of money on us, it was Halloween, and it was a 7/11, so, pretty much we were getting the Ultimate Gouge). It wasn’t to just eat, since everyone knows for that, the best time to get candy is the day after Halloween, when they mark down all the bulk stuff. Sort of like the day after Easter or Valentine’s Day. Our reason for getting the overly-expensive convenience-store candy: We decided that we were going to go Reverse Trick-or-Treating.

I went as Michael Moore (At the time I actually looked a bit like him, less so now, my hair’s different) and he went as Lowell from Wings. (For those interested in the time frame, this was when TV Nation was still on during its Fox run. We were both huge fans of the show and Roger and Me.) 

Although, through the night, as we got sick of being our respective people, who we were would occasionally change when we were asked. A common alternate was They Might Be Giants (as we look very vaguely like John and John as well. Well, if anything, FMS looks kind-of-sort-of like John Linnell, and I’ve got glasses like Flansburgh, so…). We’d stay in character and talk about how we had a new album coming out in about six months, but there would be a new B-sides comp soon[1]! 

Anyway, about Reverse-Trick-Or-Treating; it’s pretty much what you’d expect it’d be: We went around dressed up as folks, and gave out candy. We’d occasionally get the “Well, you’re a bit old to be Trick or Treating!” response, which we’d reply that we weren’t actually trick or treating, then give the person (Usually an older couple in their sixties, it seemed…) a piece of candy. Which would catch them off guard, but in a good way. Once in a while we’d come upon a bunch of Real Trick-Or-Treaters (meaning Little Kids; I think we’d pretty much decided we weren’t going to give candy to folks our age going around trick-or-treating, but I don’t think we actually saw any anyway, so the point was moot), and we’d give them candy too. Pretty much everyone seemed really amused by the idea, and it seemed to cheer up a lot of people (not that they typically needed cheering up, I suppose, since Halloween’s not really that depressing of a holiday).

There was one time where it wasn’t so well received, however. It was also pretty much the funniest part of the night. After giving some candy to a group of Real Trick-Or-Treaters, they let us know about a really cool Haunted House around the corner that we should check out. We figured that it might be cool to check out, since, after, all, the trick-or-treaters seemed nice and we were running low on candy anyway. So, we go around the corner and find which House was Haunted. We go in, and are greeted by Death. Death offered us a tray of candy, and we each put one (fully-wrapped) bit of candy on the tray. Death looked at the tray, looked at us, and just pointed to the door. 

Admittedly, I can sort of understand Death’s Objection, since he didn’t know if we were nutjobs out poisoning kids or something (but, y’know, being Death, you’d think he’d be down with that).  Anyway, though, it was getting late, so after our adventures getting Rejected By Death, we just gave the rest of the candy (which really wasn’t all that much) to the next trick-or-treaters we saw, and went back home. I don’t recall what we did after that. Probably watched a sitcom or listened to They Might Be Giants CDs or something.


[1] For those keeping score: The second B-sides compilation never came, but it was rumored heavily to be coming out “Soon” (for a few years, in fact). This was always referred to as “Superfueled Freaksicle”, from (I believe) a comment Flansburgh made at a concert in 1995 about what the “upcoming” B-Sides compilation would be called. Also, about six or eight months later, Factory Showroom came out. So, we weren’t lying even though, if I recall, I was merely guessing based off of the “New Record Every 2 Years” rule that TMBG had going for a while.

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