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Corpophilia: Religion

Posted on : May 1, 2008 By Matt Keeley
Corpophilia: Religion
Corpophilia 
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Pepsi logo (1970-1991) In 1987, the font was m...
Pepsi logo (1970-1991) In 1987, the font was modified slightly to a more rounded version which was used until 1991. This logo is now used for Pepsi Throwback (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“You know, Ethel, I’m thinking of converting.”

“Really, Mabel? That’s a big step! What on Earth® for?”

“Well, I’m becoming a bit dissatisfied lately.”

“Don’t tell me you’re losing faith!”


“Well, actually, I think I might be. At first, I thought that I had finally found the right church, but I’m not so sure anymore.”

“Why? What’s the matter?”

“Well, I really liked it for a while, the sermons were great, and it was all about something I could believe in. But then…”

“You mean…?”

“Yes. They released the new formula. I really liked all the other brands Pepsi® came out with, but with this new one… it’s just too sweet for me, and I don’t like the aftertaste. I’m thinking of even getting out of the whole Colacism scene all together.”

“No! You don’t say!”

“Yes, I do… I’ve been looking at Buickhism. I really like the new models that the fine people at the General Motors Corporation have been turning out, and I hear they’re very reliable.”

“I suppose, but it is a major step, and you’ve been a Colaic all your life.”

“True, but what’s the difference between hopping from Cocagregationalists and the Pepsiterians?”

“But both of those have similar belief systems! They’re completely different than Buickhism! It’s a really big jump!”

“That’s what everyone’s been saying, but I don’t know… Buickhism makes much more sense to me.”

“Well, I suppose that if you’ve heard the calling that you should go, but I’ll be praying™ for you.”

“Er… thanks.”

 

 

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