Stupid Ideas I Haven’t Done: SEXY KEVIN
Kevin McDonald (center, front) with the Kids i...

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Like everyone, I tend to come up with a lot of ideas that I never get around to doing. Sometimes out of laziness, sometimes  because I can’t figure out how to make it work, and sometimes, it’s just because they’re pretty stupid ideas.  If anyone wants to make these stupid ideas a reality, more power to you — maybe give a hat-tip to Kittysneezes, why don’t you?

Stupid Idea: Shaving “KEVIN” on the backs of the gorillas; one letter per gorilla. (They would have to be either very docile or drugged gorillas, though.)

I’m not sure why it would be “KEVIN”, but “KEVIN” seems to be the absolute perfect name to write in lack-of-gorilla-fur on a series of gorillas. It’s not referencing any particular Kevin; the only Kevin I can think of is MacDonald (from Kids in the Hall ), and he doesn’t seem particularly suited to the whole tribute-via-gorilla-shaving thing. Not that he’s undeserving; more that there seems to be better ways to pay tribute to that particular Kevin that would suit him better. So I think the allure of the KEVIN gorillas it’s just the name itself as a separate, aesthetic entity.

If I had more than five gorillas, they would be “KEVIN” related too.
Six: “KEVIN!”
Seven: “HI KEVIN”
Eight: “HEY KEVIN” or “IT’S KEVIN”

The ideal, though, is nine gorillas: The five “KEVIN” gorillas, and then four to be labeled as “SEXY”. They’d never be allowed to mingle, so you’d never see “SEXY KEVIN” written on the backs of gorillas. The KEVIN gorillas would be docile and nice, protected by the brutal SEXY enforcers. They’d also be kept in order, so you’d never have to worry about KNIVE gorillas, for example.

Why I Never Did It: Gorillas will fuck you up.


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