Selected Dreams, Vol. 1
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Dream the First

Have you ever had a nightmare about a movie you’ve never seen, or, rather before you DID see it??

Actually, I’m not sure if “nightmare” is the right term. It was more of just creepy and unsettling.

Anyway, the film in question is David Lynch‘s Eraserhead. In the dream, I was either doing or was privy to an interview with David Lynch (who, as an aside, was obviously not David Lynch, as he didn’t speak with antiquated expressions. Stuff like “oh gosh” and “aw, shucks”[1].). The interviewer/me, noted that he had a rubber dog with an extended jaw, sort of like the kind you’d get at Archie McPhee’s. The gummy sort of almost translucent rubber. Like the kind the Lucky Monkey is made from. I think the dog might have been one of those rubber pencil-topper things.

Anyway, I/interviewer asked him about it, and he explained that it was a reminder type thing of his film Eraserhead, because in Eraserhead, there was this giant dog that he had built, and the rubber dog looked sort of like it, only much, much smaller.

Then the dream cut to a film (or perhaps back in time…) of the Eraserhead Dog being built. The main construction was out of two by fours. And, from what I remember, was rather boxish, although when the dog was finished, it looked very doglike. I’m not sure if this comes across in the picture, but the jaw was extended to be very large. Unfortunately, I think the addition of the teeth in the drawing makes it look like the jaw’s not really open that wide, but.. it was. Very, very wide.

At any rate, we then see the scenes from Eraserhead featuring the dog. Basically, it just sits there, looking fierce, and occasionally growling with this… goddawful noise. Like… a standard dog growl, only impossibly loud and run through most every reverb unit and distortion effect you could imagine. It was horrendous, and one of the creepiest things in the world to hear. Which… yeah, I couldn’t even recreate if I wanted to. But, anyway, the dog would pretty much just sit there and growl (I can only assume that in my dream state, I’d combined Eraserhead with The Angriest Dog in the World), except at the end of the clip, when the dog attacked me and fit my head in the extended jaw (See, it’s big. I’ve got a big Irish head.), and started biting down. It really hurt. Even in the dream.

After a few minutes of that, I woke up.

I can’t remember if there was more with David Lynch or not, or maybe I thought that it couldn’t have been him, cause he wasn’t saying “Oh Gosh” and suchlike.

Also, for the record, while I’ve never seen Eraserhead, I’m almost certain it doesn’t feature the Dog. To be honest, I would be very surprised if it features any dogs of any sort, but I’m not certain. But I would wager that it does not feature any wooden jawdogs.

Dream the Second

I once had a dream about the introduction of a movie. It appeared to be a Romantic Comedy of some sort. The opening was animated, and I thought it was kind of cool. The animation was sort of like those “Thomas and Nardo” shorts that used to run on Liquid Television, only more Japanese, since, after all, the dream-film itself was Japanese.

There was no dialogue. The two characters, a male and a female, stood opposite each other “talking” while the camera slowly spun around them. Various title-cards would pop up between scenes, and the text was about translating real life into film, or more accurately, animation and the various difficulties and alternate-universes (i.e. changes to plotline) that would develop in the transition.

In this particular scene, one of the characters, Jack, was explaining to the other, U62@, the way of the world in which they lived and why she could sort-of recognize Jack, but still didn’t really know who he was.

One of the title-cards read “In this version, my name is Jack, because my real name is traditionally American also.”

It cut back to the two characters and U62@ replied, and the next title-card came up.

“Oh, yes, I remember! Your American name was the first thing I noticed about you!”

It made sense in the context of the Japanese Film Dream, but it’s a hilarious throwaway line in a film taking place in the US.

Dream the Third

It started with David Byrne driving down the street (if I recall, he looked to be about Stop Making Sense era, but maybe Naked era; when he was in Talking Heads, his appearance didn’t change all that much). I believe his car was one of those older large ones, sort of like the type on the cover of The Mothers’ Just Another Band From L.A., only not drawn by Cal Scheckel.

David pulls over in front of a tenement building (like where Gordon lives on Sesame Street), where I’m looking out the window at the stoop from a sideways angle. He gets out, and starts singing “Psycho Killer“. He gets about two lines in, give or take, and Michael J. Fox comes up. He hadn’t yet hit the French part of the song, anyway.

A quick note on Michael J. Fox: I’d clarify that it was Back to the Future era Fox, except that:

a) I’ve never been much of a Michael J. Fox fan that I’ve watched many other things he was in


b) In pretty much everything I’ve seen him in, he looks exactly the same.

When Michael J. Fox comes up, he starts alternating lines of “Psycho Killer” with David. Only they both start doing it really menacingly. The song is no longer just a character study; the high-school-French-knowing killer’s made flesh. In two people. It becomes clear that there’s going to be a face off between David Byrne and Michael J. Fox.

They continue through the song. David gets back into his car, and Michael J. Fox gets into a car that may or may not be his. If I recall, while Byrne had the old-type car, Fox’s was a new type. Like a Saturn or something. On the car ride, it is revealed – somehow, I don’t recall how – that Byrne and Fox aren’t actually trying to kill each other. It’s just a game, like Paintball or something.

Only, of course, not at all like Paintball – Michael J. Fox’s plan was to “poison” David, and I don’t remember how David was planning to fake-kill Michael J. Fox. Probably poison as well.

Somewhere along the line, Michael J. Fox gets ahead of David and pulls up in the neighborhood where I actually live, near one of the other members of TODCRA. David sees Michael J. Fox park and parks behind him about a block and a half away, around the corner. They then go into said TODCRA member’s house (one after another, not together), and hang out a while. Soon, Michael J. Fox serves David a bun and some coffee, and he is FOILED, and the game ends.

Dream the fourth

Last night, I dreamt I went Costco again. They had a book that was the novel adaptation of Adaptation. It was a gigantic book, about 1000, maybe 1500 pages. Split the difference between, say, Infinite Jest and an unabridged dictionary.

The dust-jacket was very thin for a dust-jacket, like some of the older books I’ve seen. It was heavier paper than most sheets, but not the heaviest. I remember being very careful that it wouldn’t get damaged. The cover was a variation on the poster (as book adaptations are wont to be), only without the text. The information (title, author, etc.) was embossed only, no printed text. The screenplay was only credited to Charlie Kaufman, not Charlie and Donald. The adaptation, though, was written by someone else entirely, who wasn’t anyone famous or involved in the film.

I leafed through it, and was very disappointed to find that it was just a straight adaptation of the film; much like you’d be able to order from the Scholastic Book Club or occasionally find in grocery stores.

Earlier in the dream, almost immediately before finding the Adaptation adaptation, still at Costco, I met Susan Orlean (the real one, not Meryl Streep. Of course, I don’t know whether or not the Dream Susan Orlean looked like the Real Susan Orlean, since I don’t know what the Real Susan Orlean looks like). I recognized her and said hello, and she goes “Oh hello! Oh, there’s my book!” and gestured off into the piles of books, but I couldn’t see The Orchid Thief, but I just pretended I did.

She seemed to take my “ha ha, yeah…” response to mean that I didn’t actually know who she was. She asked me whether or not I did, and I responded in the affirmative, though I didn’t say anything like “You’re Susan Orlean!”, since I started to doubt that it was her. Even though, in the dream, it was indeed Susan Orlean. My response seemed to be enough for her, or at least she decided not to press the issue.

She was very pretty. I remember making a joke to myself, in the dream, in my head, about how Charlie Kaufman’s reaction to her author photo on the dust jacket in the film wasn’t an erroneous one. I obviously didn’t say it aloud, though.

Anyway, though, I ended up putting the book of Adaptation back on the shelf.

Dream the Fifth

The only thing I remember in this dream was that I was in bed (but a different one than my normal bed). It was very hot outside, and for some reason the heat would say the word “banana”. The heat’s voice was high-pitched (not at all unlike the giant banana who says “I am a Banana!” in Don Hertzfeldt’s Rejected). I had my air conditioner on, so the heat itself wasn’t bothering me, just the heat’s ability to talk. Of course, this didn’t really bother me much either, since it was actually pretty cool. It probably helped that in the dream I wasn’t very tired.

Later, the dream made its way back to this scene (unfortunately, I do not recall how). By this time, it had cooled enough for the heat to not say “Banana”. This disappointed me, so when I was talking to my mother from my bed (she was in the doorway), I would lift up my covers to let out the stored-body-heat, and then I’d say “Banana!” in imitation of the outdoor heat.


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