What May Be In the New ‘Black Mirror’ Movie ‘Bandersnatch’ (But Probably Not)

Get ready, Black Mirror fans! Just like with White Christmas, we’re getting a special holiday episode of the Charlie Brooker-penned anthology series! The new episode will be feature-length and is called Bandersnatch. According to VICEBandersnatch focuses on a Sinclair ZX Spectrum game from 1984, and the film is set in that timeframe. Sadly, the VICE article doesn’t include a lot of information about the upcoming episode, as Brooker and Annabel Jones tend to play everything relating to Black Mirror rather close to the vest. But here at Kittysneezes, we’ve used our vast resources to find out what will likely be in the new episode. Unless, of course, they change it all at the last minute…

Things that will be in Bandersnatch

  • As mentioned, Bandersnatch is about a ZX Spectrum game. Bandersnatch itself will soon appear in our world, quietly uploaded as a ROM to Archive.org’s ZX library.
  • Though the game will refuse to load, rumors abound that the ZX loading screen has subliminal messages. If you look at them correctly — think the Magic Eye puzzles of the ’90s — you’ll hallucinate the visage of Sir Clive Sinclair. (This is true of any ZX Spectrum game.)
  • Bandersnatch will be Netflix’s first foray into Choose Your Own Adventure-style technology. However, all of the paths will result in the death of the player character.
  • One easter-egg path will result in the death of the player.
  • Another easter-egg path will result in free Netflix for a year, so, hey, pretty good odds, right?
  • A cameo from Philomena Cunk and Barry Shitpeas since we won’t be getting a 2018 Wipe.
  • Your thermostat will turn off. If your thermostat is already off, the film will pause, the thermostat will turn on, get nice and toasty, then turn off, only starting the film again when your room has completely cooled off.
  • Ants, ants, ants!
  • Owing to the ZX subject of the film, a limited edition audio cassette will also be available. On one side is the show’s dialogue, on the other is a ZX program that shows an animated version of the episode meant to play alongside the dialogue. It’s recommended you use a blank cassette to dupe the dialogue onto.
  • The new episode will star Brian Limond. (No joke here, I just really like Limmy.)
  • Like the real-life video game that inspired it, Bandersnatch will in fact not come out, being itself vaporware.

Bandersnatch will air on Netflix on December 28, 2018.

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