A Delicious Steak-Based Recipe
Flank in the beef cut chart.
Flank in the beef cut chart. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Copping to Plagiarism:  I didn’t actually even come up with it. Or even write it out originally. My mom wrote it out for me, and she got it from someone else, who probably got it from someone else, too. But anyway, it’s awesome and people should try it. I’ve added some editorial comments to help explain things.

THE RECIPE. Uh, it’s called “Skirt Steaks” I guess. I don’t know what the fancy name for it is. You can call it whatever you want. Like “Bitchin’ Pig-Cow Stick Roll Food”. Or, if you’re a vegetarian, “Horrible Animal Death”. Or if you’re me, “Awesome Animal Death!”


Cut flank steak into 1″ strips.

Lay steak-strips on bacon (laid one or two lengthwise per steak. Depending on how long your steak-strip is. I think mom usually does one, but I seem to remember there occasoinally being two).

[OPTIONAL: Dust steak with powdered garlic. Or you could probably use diced. Or, hell, cloves, too, probably. The key here is not a lot, so probably the former would be best.]

Put onion pieces on steak [and garlic] (NOTE: Even if you’re not a fan of Onion, I recommend putting the onion in anyway, and cooking it, and then just not eating the onions. Sorta like with a bay leaf. But if you like onions, Rock On and Eat The Fuck Outta Those Sumbitches.  If you are completely anti-onion — or, if you’re like me, and are allergic to them — just use extra garlic.)

Roll up (like a spiral!) and hold the spirals of meat/onion[/garlic] together by jamming bamboo skewers through (they’re long, so use one per steak, jam the skewer in, then cut off the excess and jam the excess through the other way, so you’ve got an X of stick through meat/onion[/garlic].). You can get these at the store. I’ve seen them, but I don’t remember where. Try the stick section of your local grocery store.

Put the steaks on a rack in a baking pan.

Bake 1/2 hour at 350.

Remove from the oven, put BBQ sauce on both sides.

Bake another 1/2 hour at 350.

Remove from oven, put on plates with side dishes (or don’t), remove sticks, eat.

ALSO: The bacon gets kinda soft around the steaks, so if you don’t dig soft bacon, find someone who does (like me) and give them your bacon, but put a few strips over the top of the meat-spirals when you’re cooking the entire thing for yourself. (I actually recommend doing this anyway if you can spare the bacon, cause it’s pretty damn awesome, and it does some different things to the bacon that are very tasty. Perhaps even more so than frying the bacon the way normally people do it. And it helps mingle flavors, I guess.)

Anyway, trust me on the Onion thing. Field Marshall Stack hates onions, and he concurs about them being needed. He just doesn’t eat the things. I do, though, cause I dig them. Or, at least I did before my body decided to be allergic to them.  Stupid body.

I’m not sure if people from England would dig the bacon on this so much, since it seems their method of cooking bacon is showing it a hot pan. But, hey, that’s cool. Even if it turns out incredibly gross. I mean, damn, nigh-raw bacon? No, don’t do that.

Also, according to Melissa, this recipe is Atkins-Friendly, if you’re into that whole scene. But if you’re into that scene, you could probably tell that it was, since it’s pretty much just meat on top of meat. But it’s really good, and you should make it, unless you’re vegetarian, in which case, uh, make it for your meat eating friends, I guess. Or work your way up to it. As an intermediate step, I recommend calling up slaughterhouses to berate the cows and pigs before they’re slaughtered, to sort of work your way up the scale of cruelty it takes to kill things by proxy. (Assuming you’re into the vegetarian thing because of the animal death; if it’s for the health thing, make sure your affairs are in order, I guess.)


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