Tagged: Pet

Uncaged

Gerbil - Burmese

Image by benmckune via Flickr

The girl I like who works at the old person’s home where I also work is giant and almost always wears green, and I don’t mean that I like her in a sexual way, because she is a giant human person and I am a gerbil, and it feels strange even having to say that because you clearly can like someone without it being anything more, but the phrase “the girl I like” obviously has a hidden layer of meaning so that if you say it what people hear isn’t “the girl I like” but “the girl I like-like”, with some kind of emphasis on the first “like” that it is impossible to adequately show in the printed word with its tiresome and limited old collection of typographic adjectives like bolding and italicising and underlining and whatnot. I just like this girl, who is giant even to the other withered old humans, who is taller than them and wider than them and heavier than all of them and wears green so that she hears laughter every single time she brings them sweetcorn, but I do not laugh since – although I lack a true understanding of the human condition – I do know what it is to feel pain and to feel as though everyone looks down on you. Also, I like sweetcorn, and I lack the ability to laugh.
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Things That Are Neat: Dogs!

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Image by RevMe via Flickr

A lot of people have been talking smack about dogs lately, and I’m here to set the record straight.  Dogs are awesome, and anyone who says otherwise is a liar and a fool and probably not that nice a guy.  So, yeah, forget those people.  They suck.  But if this isn’t enough proof for you, HERE! Here are the top three reasons Dogs are AWESOME.
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