or, A Return To Being One Of The Horde Of Headless Overweight People On Bad TV News Reports About The Obesity Epidemic
I’ve been fat for most of my life. When I was in my early twenties, I decided to see what it was like to be thin — sort of an inverse of what Captain Beefheart did — and lost a lot of weight. It stayed off for a few years, but gradually came back on, and I’m not at my peak of heaviness or anything, I’m pretty much back to normal.
And, y’know what? I’m fine with that.
Y’know what I like? I mean, aside from watching TV and all that stuff, but y’know, big and in general?
I like ladies with glasses.
Glasses are like, lady-enhancers.
Like, y’know who I thought was really, really cool? Bailey Quarters from WKRP. She was wonderful. She was pretty, and she was nice, and she was smart, and she was fresh out of journalism school and got a job at a radio station. She was awesome. I felt bad for her because she was really nervous and sometimes Herb’d try to bring her down, and then sometimes Les would sorta join in a little bit, or sometimes a lot, and she’d want to cry a little, and I just wanted to reach into the TV and give her a big ol’ hug and let her know everything’d be all right. I wonder why Andy didn’t do that more often. Or Venus, but he wasn’t around as much, cause he was the night DJ, and Bailey usually worked during the day, but sometimes Venus’d just come down to the station to hang out or work on show prep or something. But then, he was usually with Dr. Johnny Fever, or Andy. But, anyway, though, I thought Bailey was awesome. She was probably my favorite, not to slight Jennifer, who was pretty cool too, or any of the rest of them really.