Category: Ambien Reviews

A little while ago, Austin Wolf-Sothern got a prescription for Ambien (more specifically, generic Ambien) to help him sleep. For those not familiar with the drug, it seemingly helps you fall asleep by putting you into a dream-state while you’re still awake. So if you don’t lie down in bed after taking it, and instead remain seated in front of the computer, you will start hallucinating. Which is awesome, but I’ve also found that it can defeat the purpose, because he ends up wanting to stay awake, watching words swirl around. On one of the days after he’d first started taking it, he was looking through the Word doc where he keeps track of all the movies he watched, and discovered that he had written a few reviews during one of these states of half-dreaming.As far as relaying a synopsis and my general opinion, it’s pretty much the same as his regular reviews, but it’s with a way goofier sense of humor and a fucking shitload of spelling errors.

Ambien Review #11: Lost Season 4/Any Which Way You Can

Lost Season 4
Jeffrey Lieber, Damon Lindelof, J.J. Abrams

Any Which Way You Can (1980)
Buddy Van Horn

There A re a few things happening on the island, and just as crazy things happening off the island with the Oceanic 6 in the flash forwards. New characters are introcu fde from the gfreighter, like Jeremy Javies who is bring some fantastic new elements to the show, maybe next season. Guess I;kk kepp watchin’! It’s a shorter season, and like, crazy. Do they have to go BACK to the island to save their friends? OR DO THEY? LOST *ppuuh* Loved this season, dude.

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Ambien Review #10: Lost Season 3

Lost Season 3
Jeffrey Lieber, Damon Lindelof, J.J. Abrams

Man whose piss do I gotta drink to make this ambien come on stronger. Ok, so, Jack Kate and Sawyer are on the Other idland tra[[ed up, and they meet Juliet and stuff and Jack has to save Bwn’s lide, and a deal is made. The regulars are hanging out and trying to get Charlie to not die like he does in future flashes Desmond keeps getting. Locke is hanging out, sometimes with the New Islanders and sometimes with the Others, and he ruins a deal to take everyone back to the world by blowing up the submarine. But there’s some other boat around they all want to get wit’, and Locke and Ben are like No they want to kill everyone. Something Charles Whitmore whuuut. Are they gonna be saved from the island? It’s possible! The ending moment of the season with a twist flash-forward is fucking something else. Also, there is some intrigue in this season. Mysteries you don’t know shit about! Those other seasons were good but they were THE OThers. This is where the show showed me showpower, and like ok, now I get why it’s super great amazing. Think I’ll stick around for ol Seaso 4 and ;et it warm on down. You’re gona make it, kid.delof n cuse.

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Ambien Review #9: Exit Through the Gift Shop

Exit Through the Gift Shop (2010) – 35mm

Brian Eno is helpo=inh ,r=mr gsther my thoightd, zHere;s the problem, whrn I try to delete letters I hit the = instesd. So now, when you see an =, you know whs=at it n=means. Thu=is documentary is about theis guy involved in fulming illegal art, and making it into a movie maybe, but then this artist Banksy wants to turn things around and make a documentary on him. This is NO spoiler, it’s the first lube of the mvooeis. Excuse e=me. My eyes weer clssed. It’s documentaritaville!

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Ambien Review #8: Lost Season 2

July 25
Lost Season 2
Jeffrey Lieber, Damon Lindelof, J.J. Abrams

I took an Ambien 10 minutes ago, and haven’t started feeling it yet, but I’m hoping it may take effect in the middle of writing this review. If not a bit sooner than the middle. In Season 2 of Lost, they are still on the island. They find a bunker with some comfortable rooms to hang out in, tons of food, and a tape that partially explains the island’s purpose. The bunker also has a button, and this button needs to be pressed every couple of hours or something mysterious will happen. So they debate a lot about whether or not pressing the button actually does anything. Then they also capture a guy, who may be an innocent who accidentally hot-air-ballooned his way there, or he more likely could be one of the Others. They don’t know! So they keep him locked up, until something can be proven. It’s tied up and together now at the end, and shit gets crazy. Here’s what happens if you don’t push the button: shit gets crazy. People got killed I wasn’t expecting. I’m lovin’ it, this season’s cheeseburder is better than last season’s cheeseburder.

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Ambien Review #7: Lost Season 1

June 3
Lost Season 1 – Roku
Jeffrey Lieber, Damon Lindelof, J.J. Abrams

The Lost Finale has breathed its last finaleious breath, and so I thought this time was right to get abreast with the world aand start watching, with Season 1. It’s like a flashback. You’re living your life nowwhere all things ave been explained and examined, and partway thougth, they’re gonna cut away from your life, and show my life instead way behind on the schedule, all the way back at season fucking one. This. This is how the show is when you watch it, Jack is the doctor, he cantake control when he’s able, but Locke has his own agenda trying to cover up his big secret that he is also Creed Bratton on the Office, And Kate looks pretty , I din’t think so at first but then I got a load of her rabbit teeth and I love it now. Some other characters too, getting their shit in line.

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Ambien Review #6: Labyrinth

The first sentence of this review (the synopsis part) was written not-on-Ambien, which I guess is fairly obvious, but maybe worth mentioning. Also, I wrote this the same night as Shutter Island, and these are the “innermost thoughts” I refer to in that review.

Labyrinth – 1986, 35mm
Jim Henson

A bratty Jennifer Connelly throws a fit when she has to babysit her crying little brother, and she wishes for him to be taken away, so some goblins do just that, and then she realizes this is a mistake, but David Bowie tells her the only way to get her brother back is to find her way through his labyrinth to the castle.

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Ambien Review #5: Kick-Ass

Immediately before writing this review, I wrote the following sentence about the movie Forbidden Sun: “Mary had a little lamb and that lamb was the night of the lepus. Lepus bunnies jumping over bunnies in lepusland tonight.”

I remember thinking “Man, this is great storytelling,” but I knew that Forbidden Sun, being an obscure movie with an absurd plot worth explaining coherently, deserved a regular review, so instead I moved on to Kick-Ass. I try not to explain much about these reviews. I’m always tempted to offer up translations, but I know that they’re funnier without. But this review (which honestly, I’m not that into) actually needs a little context for the boringly near-coherent middle section where I complain about the theater I saw it at. This would be Sundance Kabuki Cinemas, which is owned by Robert Redford, and they have this stupid thing where you have to choose your seats at the box office before you go in. When they first introduced it, it sounded pleasant enough, but now I can’t stand it and I defiantly choose my seats at random on their dumb fucking computer screen, and sit wherever I fucking want once I’m inside. Anyway, all you really needed to know to get one of the references in the review is that Robert Redford owns the theater, and the rest, like I said, is easy to understand (disappointingly so, I feel).

The next Ambien Review I post will be for Labyrinth, and it was written the same night as Shutter Island and is seriously ten times crazier.

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Ambien Review #4: Shutter Island

March 29
Shutter Island – 2010, 35mm
Martin Scorsese

DANCE MAGIN DANCE SHUTTER ISLAND THE MOVIE. Scorsese send Leonardo DiCapripo over to thinvestiveat an island prison that will make your eyes shudder. There may be spoilers In ths is re e view but theu wil prabdlfy be foe thw movie labrynth becase that’s the one I just got done with exploring my innermost thoughts with and am still listening to the soundtrack of. So is Leo actyually insane, or is he made to be insane/? Did Connolly get her brother back? Did that world actually exist? Theses are important film discussions to have wit hother filmic scholars. SHUTTer ISLAnd IS CrAZY. I love Leo in stuff, and I like movies where Scorsese portrays someone slowly going crazy, because that’s a running them n his work.. BUT these words seem tired, and they are crawling under the bed of the words beneath them, so check this out. Mark Ruddalo is also in the movie as an interesting person. He’s trying to find a missing girl, and he finds variations of that girl. What did he find? I cannot tell you. Mental hopsoitabl inamates were pretty creedpu, and Emily Mortimor hasd a very good moment. Whatver the ending is, I found it sadder than Labrynth. Poor Leo DiCapz. Did I saw that I loved it! OMG, it’s really good!!!! Leo will smite your skunt with charm and verisimilitude. It’s onlu forever. Not long for long. I am hiccupping again.

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Ambien Review #3: Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed

This is another review I wrote on Ambien.

Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed – 2004, DVD
Brett Sullivan

Bridget from Ginger Snaps Part 1 is on the run and everyone wants her, but she just wants to rent the Bloodletting book out from the library and shoot up moonkshoood to keep her wolf at bay. She ends up passing out, though, and taken to a rehab center, but they can’t fix Bridget’s style of probblem, There’s a young creeper around who gives drugs out sometimes to girls who do more for him as for favors, but anyway, Bridget meets this amazing girl named Ghost who knoes about the werewolf thing, and want s to help her espace, Sp they crawl through some stuff and get out of there, and narrowly avoid the hunting werewolf that’s been hunting bridget ever simce, so he could mate with her. The go to Ghost’s grandmothers house, and hang out, but Bridget needs the monkshiid ,an dso Ginger discovers thant Ghost isn’t too innocent either, and has done some shit things, but it’s worth it because she says crazy stuff that is awesome and hilarious. I love this movie so mcuu kealf go see it bwefcofe it leaves theaeters!

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Ambien Review #2: Wolfen

Here’s another review I wrote after taking Ambien. Here’s the first one I wrote, if you missed it and need some context.

Wolfen – 1981, DVD
Michael Wadleigh

Albert Finney is a Homidicide Detective investigating some killings, and the killing were done without knives according to his coroner Gregory Hines, so it must be a wolf but Thomas Noonan thinks its not the wolf tearing flesh apart because only humans are so fucked. Reaally good atmosphere for the mvovie, if sometimes felt slow, but it was so good and I even liked Albert Finney in it which I never do. Edward James Olmos is great too and especially with his fake-out transformation scene where you to look in a plenty of his dick. Wolfen disappoints though, when it’s not actually about werewolfs but just refular wolves, not quite regular, cuz they are wolfen. Spoilers behind, It’s a sweet time at the movies.

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