Copping to Plagiarism: I didn’t actually even come up with it. Or even write it out originally. My mom wrote it out for me, and she got it from someone else, who probably got it from someone else, too. But anyway, it’s awesome and people should try it. I’ve added some editorial comments to help explain things.
THE RECIPE. Uh, it’s called “Skirt Steaks” I guess. I don’t know what the fancy name for it is. You can call it whatever you want. Like “Bitchin’ Pig-Cow Stick Roll Food”. Or, if you’re a vegetarian, “Horrible Animal Death”. Or if you’re me, “Awesome Animal Death!”
Honestly, I don’t even know how much a “peck” is. I could consult the oracle known as teh interwebs, I suppose, but the instant gratification of knowing the definition of a unit of measure I’ve known about my whole life but that has been kinda nebulous and undefined would be somehow unsatisfactory and a letdown. I want to learn what a “peck” is by experiencing it, not vicariously from a web site or by being told.
I want to arrive at my understanding of “a peck” organically by, say, dorking about a farm and having a grizzled farmhand speaking to me, offhandedly gesturing about and remarking about how “Bessie foaled in the springtime. The harvest was fair to middlin’, and that thar peck o’ okra is bound fer market in Omaha tomorrow.” And then I want to look at the okra (or whatever) he’s pointing at and have the firsthand lightbulb-over-the-head “Ohhhh! THAT’S how much a ‘peck’ is!” moment. Continue reading →
A while ago I regaled my rapt minions of admirers(1) with my recipe for making the best dill dough anyone has known in the history of the entire world since humans have existed ever. Continue reading →
I like to cook. Of late I have been on a bread making kick that started out with a pal of mine giving me a batch of sourdough starter made from wild yeast she collected. Every day, I pop the lid on a plastic container of the starter and wrinkle my nose at the fumes emanating from the frothy bubbling goop that resembles an albino version of the 1950s horror staple The Blob. I’ve taken to calling it “The Biomass.” I mix in some flour and water and seal it back up again and let it bubble contentedly for another 24 hours or until I decide to make something. Continue reading →
Here’s the thing. I don’t really like pancakes that much. I am not into the whole spongy, doughy, eggy sweet thing for breakfast. I mean, pancakes are alright I suppose… but I have never ordered them in a restaurant. Also, pancake mixes are for chumps. Not only do the cost an unreasonable amount of money, but they are filled with utter and absolute crap, the worst of which is hydrogenated fats, the one ingredient aside from sea urchin I will not knowingly eat. Continue reading →