Huggies Not Buggies!

Art by Coalheart
Art by Coalheart

It’s a lovely day in the park. Your herd is having a wonderful time, grazing, playing ball, hugging and playing circle-run!
But then… HORROR! It’s so horrible you can barely describe it! You got BIT…… BY A STRIPEY BUGGIE MUNSTA! NUUUUUUUU!!! You were here first! You just wanted to eat a flower! The buggy was just flying right near it! What a jerk! This must not stand!
BUT WAIT: You are a slightly smarter than usual fluffy and you know that if you try to attack, it won’t end well. You’ve been in many fours of herds. And each of those many fours ended due to an attack. You think there might be a pattern there. The smarty friend of this herd agrees.
Wait…You’re the smarty friend!
That’s why the smarty agrees with you! Yay!
Anyway, you know you can’t attack the buggy. But you have seen where the buggies live. It’s in some sort of weird ball in a tree. Perhaps you can do something over there that’ll get the buggies to be nice.
Just then, you hear some hoomins. They have a bunch of weird things over their heads, and they’re being loud.
“FOOD NOT BOMBS! FOOD NOT BOMBS!”
Hm. They must be hungry. And… bombs… those are those boomy-balls, right? Someone must have tried to give them those as nummies and they didn’t like it, and want sketties!
Then… you see another hoomin come by with… SAMMICHES!!
“Thanks, Susan, super hungry here! I really appreciate it!”
“No problem, Sam. You’re doin’ good work here.”
YAAAAY! IT WORKED! HOOMINS WANTED NUMMIES! HOOMINS GOT NUMMIES!
You call your herd over.
“HEWD! SMAWTY KNOW HOW TO GET BUGGIES TO NAW BE MEANIES AND BITE! WATCH HOOMINS! THEY STAND AND CHANT AND GET THINGS! YAAAAY!”
“YAAAAY!”
“SO WE DO SAME TING FOR BUGGIES!”
“YAAAAAAAY!”
You find some used nummies-wrappers from the funny-smelling bin and a few old crayons some of the fluffies who happened to have mummies and daddies in the before-time kept in their fluff. You use the crayons to write on the wrappers and shove the papers on some sticks with no more leaf-nummies on. Someone from the outside would probably just think they scribbled or drew but you know better.  These have your slogans that will totally convince the buggy munstas to be nice non-munstas!
“OTAY! EBERY FWUFF WEADY?”
“YAAAAY!!!!”
You all march over to the weird ball where the buggies live.
“HUGGIES NOT BUGGIES!! HUGGIES NOT BUGGIES!!”
“WUN TWO TWEE FO! WAT WE SHOWT NOW”
“HUGGIES NOT BUGGIES! HUGGIES NOT BUGGIES!!”
“WAT WE WAN? HUGGIES!!”
“WEN WE WAN? NOT BUGGIES!!”
“HUGGIES NOT BUGGIES! HUGGIES NOT BUGGIES!!”
“HEY HEY BUGGIES JAY”
“HOW MANY HUGGIES YOU GET”
“HUGGIES!!!”
“HUGGIES!!!!!”
“HUGGIES NOT BUGGIES!!!”
Soon, buggies come out of the weird ball thing!
They must have heard you and now they want huggies!!
“YAAAAY! EBWEY FWUFF!! GIB HUGGIES!!”
“YAAAAAAY! IT WOWK!! IT WOWK!!”
“NUUUUUU BITEY BITEY BITEY BITEY”
“NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!”
Nuuu! The buggy munstas are still munstas! They’re biting and biting and biting! Some of them are so mad they’re even leaving with their butts still on you!  Ew! Is that buggy munsta sorry poopies? Eww!!! No no smell pretty though, so it could be worse. Still! EWW! And HURTY!!
“WUN AWAY!!! WUN AWAY!!”
The buggy munstas give chase but soon you escape them! There are a lot of buggy sorry-poopies around, though all on your fluff. And when you try to clean them, they make your nummy-place kind of tingly and hurty.
This was a wonderful day. But why did it go so wrong? You hear more hoomin noises. Apparently the hoomins who got nummies before wanted more nummies, but there weren’t any. Now blue-fluffy hoomins are giving them hurties too. You guess you just didn’t watch long enough. No one’s having a wonderful day anymore. Best to go just eat some grass nummies and forget what happened today.

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