Corpophilia: Religion
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“You know, Ethel, I’m thinking of converting.”
“Really, Mabel? That’s a big step! What on Earth® for?”
“Well, I’m becoming a bit dissatisfied lately.”
“Don’t tell me you’re losing faith!”
“Well, actually, I think I might be. At first, I thought that I had finally found the right church, but I’m not so sure anymore.”
“Why? What’s the matter?”
“Well, I really liked it for a while, the sermons were great, and it was all about something I could believe in. But then…”
“You mean…?”
“Yes. They released the new formula. I really liked all the other brands Pepsi® came out with, but with this new one… it’s just too sweet for me, and I don’t like the aftertaste. I’m thinking of even getting out of the whole Colacism scene all together.”
“No! You don’t say!”
“Yes, I do… I’ve been looking at Buickhism. I really like the new models that the fine people at the General Motors Corporation have been turning out, and I hear they’re very reliable.”
“I suppose, but it is a major step, and you’ve been a Colaic all your life.”
“True, but what’s the difference between hopping from Cocagregationalists and the Pepsiterians?”
“But both of those have similar belief systems! They’re completely different than Buickhism! It’s a really big jump!”
“That’s what everyone’s been saying, but I don’t know… Buickhism makes much more sense to me.”
“Well, I suppose that if you’ve heard the calling that you should go, but I’ll be praying™ for you.”
“Er… thanks.”
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